This is coming from a true story that I got yesterday full of gaps…I will fill in the gaps…
The facts: A woman drives in to the parking lot of Wabi Sabi (a non profit that supports other non profits where I work) and for some reason does not see the GIANT mound of plowed snow (now ice) and her car becomes airborne meaning she is teetering on this mound of ice with none of her tires touching the ground. She walks home, her husband gets a friend to retrieve the car, the husband comes into our store and complains and tells us to call the city to have it removed.
So here goes:
Lulu decides to go for a drive in her 1966 Plymouth Valiant that is a lovely shade of army green. As she is driving along when her cell phone rings. Being 98 she hasn’t quite gotten the hang of this new fangled thing and tries to answer it because come to find out its her husband who is 101 and knows even less about these new fangled things and she knows he panics if she doesn’t answer as his dementia seems to be escalating. She drops the phone and reaches down to retrieve from under her brake pedal when she feels something going on with her vehicle that just doesn’t feel quite right. As she peers over her steering wheel all she can see is blue sky and a large warehouse looming in front of her. Lulu has now forgotten all about her husband calling her on the phone as she tries to sort through her obvious confusion at this recent turn of events. She opens the car door and the ground is what seems like miles below her as her car sways back and forth on the mound of ice. Her confusion escalates.
Lulu, in her befuddled state, crawls down from the drivers seat, her support hose bunching down around her Mary Janes and she finally makes it safely to the ground. She observes what has happened to her car and becomes outraged that the store would allow such a travesty to occur as she is such a good customer. Not knowing how to use her new fangled cell phone, Lulu at 98 years old decides to walk home in the subarctic temperatures to get her husband….he would know what to do and he could give the store a piece of his mind while he was doing it. As she walks home she sees the familiar rusty red 1972 GTO driving haphazardly over the center divide as she recognizes her husbands bald head peering over the steering wheel. He had taken it upon himself to go out and look for Lulu as she did not answer her phone. He picks her up and they drive to the parking lot to ponder this terrible situation.
Just when Lulu began to cry their 79 year old son (yes she was young and yes it was a shot gun wedding) drives up and cannot believe what he is seeing. There are his poor parents standing by helplessly as they watch the Plymouth Valiant teeter back and forth on this hazardous mound of ice. He picks up his cell phone (he had his grandson show him how to use it so we can call him cell phone savvy) and calls Ralph. Ralph is his Son in Law who has a wrecker. Ralph comes right over (since he owes his father in law some money) and safely gets the car off the ice with minimal damage. Meanwhile Lulu’s husband is outraged and storms into the store to give the workers there a piece of his mind. Lisa the fundraiser immediately gets up to talk to the man about his wife’s ordeal and to see the mound of ice. He explains to the bewildered Lisa that his wife Lulu just didn’t see it and Lisa is wondering how she couldn’t because that is all she could see. She agrees to call the city (even though this is private property) with a profound apology and said “If only that dear sweet woman had come in we would have taken care of this immediately so she didn’t have to walk the 9 miles home in -10 degree temperatures” but Lulu’s husband said she had every right to not trust us after allowing this horrible thing to happen to her.
They drove off in their 1972 GTO while the Son in Law followed behind Ralph towing the Plymouth Valiant. The moral of this story is Just let the damn thing ring and answer it later.